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Between Redemption and the Pain

by Gordon Gregory

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1.
Come as you are, come bring your scars To the heart of our Savior And hear Him say, “They’re washed away Your yesterdays and your failures.” We’ll rest here in all You’ve done and all You are You are the God of the broken You gave Your life for our weak and wounded souls You died while we were still sinners We bring our hearts bruised and broken We give our lives so that You can make us whole It’s here in our brokenness that we can see Your heart That You are the God of the broken He feels our pain, He knows the shame He’s made a way to restore us He meets us here in all our fears He gave His own life for us We’ll rest here in all You’ve done and all You are You are the God of the broken You gave Your life for our weak and wounded souls You died while we were still sinners We bring our hearts bruised and broken We give our lives so that You can make us whole It’s here in our brokenness that we can see Your heart That You are the God of the broken Take this brokenness I have and make it new I lay my life into Your hands, it’s all for You Take this brokenness I am and make me new I lay my life into Your hands, it’s all for You, all for You You are the God of the broken You gave Your life for our weak and wounded souls You died while we were still sinners We bring our hearts bruised and broken We give our lives so that You can make us whole It’s here in our brokenness that we can see Your heart That You are the God of the broken Take this brokenness I am and make me new I lay my life into Your hands, it’s all for You, all for You
2.
Why am I here? What’s going on? How could these blessings all have turned out so wrong? Where are You when I need You the most? It feels like You took all the Holy and left me with the ghost So now all that I’m needing is to feel You with me ‘Cause I can get tired believing in the things I can’t see Faith isn’t always easy Despite all this time, You find me still here The place that I swore away from each New Year And this road that I’m walking, I keep losing my way ‘Cause the straight and the narrow’s laid out more like a maze So now all that I’m needing Is to feel You with me ‘Cause I can get tired believing In the things I can’t see I’m wrestling angels For more than a sign ‘Cause I just cannot settle For a faith with no spine If You’re not in the valley Then tell me what’s the use of the mountain top? And at least if we’re wrestling I don’t need more proof that You’re and intimate God It’s not easy, but I wouldn’t want easy So now all that I’m needing Is to feel You with me ‘Cause I can get tired believing In the things I can’t see I’m wrestling angels For more than a sign ‘Cause I just cannot settle For a faith with no spine Faith isn’t always easy
3.
It’s in the dying of the leaves That autumn’s beauty is most clearly seen And in the agony of loss That we most deeply feel the weight of love It’s from the vilest of all men That we most clearly see that grace must win And in the darkest of all nights That we most desperately need morning light Eternity is peeking through Can you hear it calling you? Can you hear the sound of your redemption Calling out beyond your situation? It’s telling you this all will pass away And you will be enveloped by His Holy restoration Where life and death are conquered by salvation And we will see the glory of the King Displayed as He’s redeeming everything All of your brokenness, none of it’s permanent It all will fade away So open your eyes to see the things of eternity It’s a hope that never fails Can you hear the sound of your redemption Calling out beyond your situation? It’s telling you this all will pass away And you will be enveloped by His Holy restoration Where life and death are conquered by salvation And we will see the glory of the King Displayed as He’s redeeming everything
4.
Here 04:51
When my heart has run dry and my spirit is empty And all that I’ve given has left me with nothing left to give I will come to Your throne and collapse in Your sanctuary And I will drink from the waters of life that You freely give Though I am empty, You’re eternally full Though I am weary, it’s here I find my strength restored All that I need is here found in this place of fear And though I am broken I know that You’re near I’m finding that all You are is what redeems my heart Father please take every broken piece And make me more like You, make me new When my heart has grown cold and I’ve lost the desire Blow through Your temple consuming the dross with Your holy fire When I stumble back home into arms drenched in mercy Give me the grace to remember the death that I know without You Though I am empty, You’re eternally full Though I am weary, it’s here I find my strength restored All that I need is here found in this place of fear And though I am broken I know that You’re near I’m finding that all You are is what redeems my heart Father please take every broken piece And make me more like You, make me new My flesh and my heart may fail me But God is my rock and my portion forever He’s my refuge The nearness of God is my good All that I need is here found in this place of fear And though I am broken I know that You’re near I’m finding that all You are is what redeems my heart Father please take every broken piece And make me more like You, make me new
5.
Hindsight 05:10
A setting sun, this journey’s done You've sustained me through it all My waves of doubt are driven out And now I’m standing on solid ground Take my feet and plant them here From the ocean of my fears You have led me through the fire And looking back I’m a little wiser I would have never made it through if it were not for You I would have never made it through if it were not for You But mist rolls in covering Every time I saw You bring me through And waves of fear drown my ears Trying to erode all that I know as truth Take my heart renew my soul Please remind me You’re in control And all my feeble human plans Crash beneath the solid rock on which I stand I would have never made it through if it were not for You I would have never made it through if it were not for You Show me how frail my heart can be When I let myself get swept away into this sea I know it’s only in Your hands That my heart can ever find the strength to stand I would never have made it through I would never have made it through I would have never made it through if it were not for You I would have never made it through if it were not for You
6.
Phoenix 04:56
My foot leaves the ground and when I am found On this soil again I will be a different man Cause I know it’s a path that I knew couldn’t last The one thing left to ask is will I come back alive again I have never faced anything this deep before I have never needed so much change in me, I’m sure That this will both destroy and raise me up to life again So let’s begin Kill me to raise me Wound me to heal me I will feel the sting of death If it will bring Your living breath Bring refining fire Melt my desire Kill the death that haunts my soul And let Your Spirit come and make me whole Won’t You come and make me whole I’m shaking off the dust from this old heart of rust Knowing that it must somehow be made flesh again I’m so desperate to feel just one thing that is real And finally reveal the wounds that have bled me dry Kill me to raise me Wound me to heal me I will feel the sting of death If it will bring Your living breath Bring refining fire Melt my desire Kill the death that haunts my soul And let Your Spirit come and make me whole Won’t You come and make me whole I have never faced anything this deep before I have never needed so much change in me, I’m sure That this will both destroy and raise me up to life again So let’s begin The smell of death has lingered in my heart for far too long Cause I have let the old man rot when he should have been gone Set a bonfire, burning high And let the ashes fertilize my heart That this death might be the start of life in me Kill me to raise me Wound me to heal me I will feel the sting of death If it will bring Your living breath Bring refining fire Melt my desire Kill the death that haunts my soul And let Your Spirit come and make me whole Won’t You come and make me whole
7.
Leaving ... 04:44
I’m leaving the old for the new I’m leaving the tried for the true I’m leaving the law for the grace I’m leaving the image for the face I’m leaving the behavior for the fruit I’m leaving the branches for the root I’m leaving these shackles in this cave And leaving as a brother, not a slave I’m leaving And jumping this train off of these tracks I’m leaving I’m running full-steam not looking back I’m leaving I’m living in the freedom, taking You at Your living words of life Tonight it’s more than simply being right I’m leaving the sacred and the crass I’m leaving the elephant and ass I’m leaving the doctrine and the state I’m leaving the judgment and debate I’m leaving abuse done in ‘The Name’ I’m leaving the guilt that feeds the game I’m leaving this Christianity For the Jesus who sets the captives free I’m leaving And jumping this train off of these tracks I’m leaving I’m running full-steam not looking back I’m leaving I’m living in the freedom, taking You at Your living words of life Tonight it’s more than simply being right And I’m heading for what matters more Than all this baggage that I'm flinging overboard I’m finding life through these new eyes And freedom where the Spirit of the Lord resides I’m heading for the Sunrise I’m heading for the Sunrise I'm leaving the death for the life I'm leaving the harlot for the wife I'm leaving the system for the art I'm leaving religion for the heart I’m leaving And jumping this train off of these tracks I’m leaving I’m running full-steam not looking back I’m leaving I’m living in the freedom, taking You at Your living words of life Tonight it’s more than simply being right
8.
Window Pain 05:21
I see your pain Deep crimson that looks darker than pitch black You wear your shame A burden that weighs heavy on your back Ground down And burned up It is making you what you are Your dreams shattered There’s only one shard left of all you were You’ve been cut down Now feeling so much smaller and unsure New day Old tale It is making you what you are Let My light shine through Let My light shine through It’s then that you are most beautifully you You just see stain I see the glass that’s hiding underneath Let’s make this pain A window to the very heart of Me Small piece Large scene I’m making you what you are Let My light shine through Let My light shine through It’s then that you are most beautifully you Please understand this glass in my hands Is one tiny facet of all I have planned And each broken shard in this work of art Will show off my heart to you here A masterpiece from your tears Let My light shine through Let My light shine through It’s then that you are most beautifully you
9.
Healed 04:14
It’s hard to find the right words to express the way I feel How can God be called a healer, when He chooses not to heal And the questions tend to linger in the recess of my heart How can I begin to reconcile the sovereignty of God But You remind me that my eyes can only see the smallest part And that the glorious sunrise can only come after the dark We will see a day when all our suffering will be redeemed Where finite faith will be replace by sight Where Your glory is revealed In each relationship restored and every sickness finally healed My faith can be quite fragile through the heartache and the pain So keep sending me Your rainbows to remind me once again That although this life is broken and the earth is stained with sin You will bring a resurrection to a life that never ends So now for those of us who dwell between redemption and the pain Would You heal our broken hearts with the hope found in Your name We will see a day when all our suffering will be redeemed Where finite faith will be replace by sight Where Your glory is revealed In each relationship restored and every sickness finally healed And even though they’re scarred, He still holds the world in His hands So that those with broken hearts have someone who understands The pain of separation but the joy of resurrection We will see a day when all our suffering will be redeemed Where finite faith will be replace by sight Where Your glory is revealed In each relationship restored and every sickness finally healed 'Cause there Your glory is revealed In each relationship restored and every sickness finally healed
10.
Atonement 04:38
I have felt the heavy weight Of the arm of God restrained by grace And every step that I would take I took great care to play it safe And deeper down I drove my sin In hopes that it would be hidden And never come to light To earn the wrath of all God’s might But sin is like a cup filled up With water thick and real as blood The more I drive it underneath The more it overflows in me And as I cower in the dark The match of grace strikes up a spark To illuminate the truth D I’m still in need of this Good News Upon the cross the punishment for each and every sin Was poured out on the body of the pure and spotless Lamb Now there’s not a single ounce of judgment left For Christ has settled the score Hallelujah, God isn’t angry any more I kept my distance from this God Who’s disappointment trumped His love But from far off I misread His face It was exhaustion not disgrace For every death each sin deserved He ravaged on His Son, The Word Until the point that He Had no more justice left for me Upon the cross the punishment for each and every sin Was poured out on the body of the pure and spotless Lamb Now there’s not a single ounce of judgment left For Christ has settled the score Hallelujah, God isn’t angry any more I boldly now approach His throne By grace and blood that did atone And let myself be held in arms That comfort rather than alarm And in the warmth of His embrace I’m overwhelmed by awesome grace And know nothing I do Could ever change this love, this grace, this truth
11.
Not Home 04:23
An autumn sunset stirs a longing in my soul Breathtaking beauty in a world so tired and old And deep inside I know that I was made for so much more Than all that this world affords My heart’s where my home is, Lord And I’m not at home at all, so don’t you try to say That my heart shouldn’t long for what’s beyond today And I’m not at home at all Don’t let me ever think this life is home ‘Cause I’m not home And pain has torn my heart and left it there for dead The loss and deep frustration with a heart that just won’t mend And all this time I’m crying out You show me once again That I wasn’t made for this And you don’t want me to miss That I’m not at home at all, so don’t you try to say That my heart shouldn’t long for what’s beyond today And I’m not at home at all Don’t let me ever think this life is home ‘Cause I’m not home Beauty shows me that I’m meant to live for so much more The agony of pain reveals it’s not what I’m made for ‘Cause I’ve been made a citizen of heaven by You, Lord And all You’re trying to do is keep me running back for more ‘Cause I’m not at home at all, and that’s my hope in pain Lord, let me always long for what’s beyond today This isn’t home at all, I long for then ‘cause now this isn’t home No, I’m not home … I’m not at home at all, so don’t you try to say That my heart shouldn’t long for what’s beyond today And I’m not at home at all Don’t let me ever think this life is home ‘Cause I’m not home
12.
Unfinished 07:07
It’s all a bit ambiguous, don’t you think All of these pencil sketches all etched over me I once was a canvas all clean and pristine But You found me I was hoping for fabulous when I gave You the pencil and paintbrush to mark up this page But the years roll along and I’m wondering where You’re going with me When all that I see is where I am Show me that You’ve got a plan All that I long for is beauty For all that You are to shine out of me But right now I'm feeling so ugly, I don't think you can So paint me in shades of forever And show off Yourself by transforming me And though I’m unpolished and damaged and tarnished I find some solace knowing that I’m still unfinished Now that You’re filling in colors, I don’t know If I quite like the hues that You use just to show That Your strength is made perfect when I am broken Just as I am Now, I know I’m no artist, but I’m sure That these brush strokes and dashed hopes must mean something more Than this forest I can’t even see for my fears Of what You will bring When all that I see is where I am Show me that You’ve got a plan All that I long for is beauty For all that You are to shine out of me But right now I'm feeling so ugly, I don't think you can So paint me in shades of forever And show off Yourself by transforming me And though I’m unpolished and damaged and tarnished I find some solace knowing that I’m still unfinished Master, pieces of this broken art Are lying scattered and afraid You’ve been spending almost all Your time Picking up messes I’ve made So take me and make me Into something that resembles You And please remind me once again that You’re not through All that I long for is beauty For all that You are to shine out of me But right now I'm feeling so ugly, I don't think you can So paint me in shades of forever And show off Yourself by transforming me And though I’m unpolished and damaged and tarnished I find some solace knowing that I’m still unfinished

about

Having grown up as a Third Culture Kid in South Africa, Gordon Gregory has a unique outlook on life, and it shows in his songwriting. Never willing to settle for cliches, both lyrically and musically, his fresh brand of Christan indie pop brings 13 years experience as both a pianist and guitarist, 12 years experience in writing over 200 songs and a Bachelors degree in Music Composition to the table. He honestly opens his heart in each song as an invitation to the listener to do the same, welcoming them to wrestle through the realities of life, faith and art in a way that is unapologetically authentic.

His debut album, BETWEEN REDEMPTION AND THE PAIN, is an overflow of this authenticity. This album does not shy away from the pain, loss and brokenness that so many suffer through alone and doesn’t dismiss the heartaches of life with easy answers. With Psalm-like candidness, Gordon cries out to God to be real and relevant in the midst of life’s messier situations, to reveal His grace in times of failure and to bring redemption to life’s most hopeless moments. It is this theme of hopeful redemption that permeates the album, as it does the heart of God, and will be an encouragement to any person honest enough to admit that they don’t have it all together.

credits

released March 15, 2011

(c) 2011 Gordon Gregory
All songs written by Gordon Gregory
Produced by Gordon Gregory and David Mathewson
Recorded, Edited, Mixed & Mastered by David Mathewson

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